Daddy Dull Dude v2.0

Posted by Just Jamaal Wednesday, April 21, 2010 2 comments

I reeeeeaaaaally want a drink today. I've been fighting it though, because I know I want a drink to combat the bullshit I'm dealing with today. That's not a reason to drink. A few weeks back it was, but this new cat wants different. What's that old saying now?

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

Today is not a good day thus far for me. I got little to no sleep last night. I have to figure out a different way of getting some sleep, because I do some real assholish shit when I'm sleep deprived. I'm just generally on edge and tend to react very quickly and harshly. Sometimes that shit is on the money, but often, I just end up doing something I later regret. Life should be like this computer here. I can type, read, edit, delete, re-read, I know I'm saying what I want to say before I post it. Can I get a post button for my mouth?

I just got into an argument with one of my bosses. It's not enough that I do all his grunt work, but then this...dude...wants to call me on his cell while he's driving, just because he's thinking about it at the moment...and you know, he has a grunt; to tell me about the half assedness of the planning of an event that HE SHOULD BE DOING. I've pulled up major slack for this dude, and now it's on me that your shit isn't in order. Dude literally just got off the phone with me because he said he was going to crash if he kept this up. I'm glad it was on the phone because who knows how that convo goes face to face. So I'm typing instead of tossing his desk and walking the fuck out.

See, this is what happens on no sleep folks. This is why all those stoopid ass commercials for this mattress and the next speak the truth. When they tell you how important a good nights sleep is, listen to that shit. On top of being deprived, I have this damn crook in my neck and shoulders. I think it's been 6 days now. I've been doing different asanas to try and correct it, but I think it's coming from the damn thing I'm sleeping on. Not to mention the stress in my life. I need a damn release valve...and a good bed...and a peaceful night's sleep. Is that too much to ask? Apparently it is.

I need to calm down, I know, but I find that I'm asking myself more and more lately: "Why do I have to be the responsible one?" See, in the moment, I just want to be an ignorant ass...but I know after all is said and done, the regret for doing some dumb shit will far outweigh any momentary satisfaction I may get from the look on someone's face when I shit on their possessions. So I swallow it*. But there in lies the problem. I need an outlet to release the frustrations every now and again. Right now, I have none. Any suggestions? Mind you, I have a little one with no family support, meaning I have no baby sitter.

For now, a little sun will have to be enough. I'm going to go get some fresh air, let the sun warm my face a little, and try not to fall asleep while I'm out there...because I'm sure the job frowns against that too. I'd hate for the wrong dude to wake me up.

*I know I said it, but let this be a jokes please and thank you

| edit post