Posted by Just Jamaal Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Have you ever been angry enough to put your fist through something? Most of us have...some of actually go ahead and try our best to break every bone in our hand. Why? What can trigger that much anger, and why is it not manageable enough to stop you? It causes people to both kill and create life.

I know for most of my fellas, emotion is seen as a woman's thing. I mean we feel what we feel, but keep that shit on the inside. Exhibiting too much is seen as a weakness because it allows others to get a read on you. Let someone read what you don't want them to know and they may get an angle on you to exploit. I'm not doling out excuses, but trying to track a real phenomenon that has contributed to the breakdown of many of our relationships. How can you be a father, lover, husband or friend without showing a little something by way of your mental, physical or spiritual connection?

I can't speak for women, but my experience has been that the women I've known tend to be very good at emoting. So good that I've been put into some very uncomfortable situations as a result. I say uncomfortable because it's new ground...shit I'm not used to.

I've been reading a lot of eastern minded meditation material again regarding the nature of our spirit. Basically writings that attempt to give you advice on how to get all that and a bag of chips. I want all that, but I can leave the chips. Unless it's cheese puffs...or those honey bbq joints...or the cheddar sour cream...Mmmmmmmmm. OK, maybe I'll take the chips.

I guess I'm just trying to figure out my best path and best way. Whenever trouble and waves rock my little boat, it becomes very easy to simply react with raw emotion to the situation. That may be with anger, jealousy, despair, pity, loathing, lust, deceit, etc. For that matter, when the seas are calm and the sun is shining, your reaction may become happy, lazy, lustful, gluttony. Our emotional responses. All those things that act as a conduit that tie ourselves with this world and the things in it. Many say that it's what makes us human. So the question, in my mind, is how do we become the best humans we can be?

Some say that the path to happiness and bliss lies in suppressing our emotions. As if taking the emotional response out of the equation means each decision is sound and logical. I'm not sure that I want to live in a world like that.

Some say that emotions are like any other sensory perception and that they are necessary in telling you bits of information. If you stick your hand into fire...the pain derived from dieing cells that are being fried is the warning that tells you to pull your hand out...and never do it again.

I've been trying to figure out how to keep it balanced. So how do I do that?



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